Part Seventeen: The Princess awakes

She woke up, confused, covered in crusted, caked blood. Staring down at her long, elegent green gown she realized that it was caked in blood as well. Her heart started racing, that’s when she saw the knife in her hand, red and dripping, she dropped it in fear. Getting up slowly from the floor she looked around to see where all this blood came from, what did she do? Did she kill someone?

Her reflection caught her in the kitchen window, and her eyes stared in wonder. Staring back at her was her sisters beautiful face, Serpentina placed her hands on the smooth white skin and gasped. She looked down and saw a rip in her dress, a giant scar slashed across her chest.

“Oh Desmerelda,” Serpentina whispered, “O what have you done?”

Alone and lost in confusion Serpentina fell to the floor and burst into a fit of tears.  Sobbing uncontrollably for a good half an hour, Serpentina got up once again and took a deep breath, gathering herself she proceeded to clean herself of her sisters blood.

As she washed herself off she realized the extent of how alone she truly was, her parents never really loved her, but were no longer around either and now she lost the only friend she ever had, the only person she ever loved, her dear sister. What was she to do now?

Anger grew inside of her, Sir Donovan caused this, they were perfectly fine before he came along. She wished he would never come back, she wished that Charmings men would find him and sentence him and send him away forever, he killed her sister as far as she was concerned. It was his fault.

Although deep down she knew this was not true, Serpentina had to blame someone. She had to be angry at someone, and Donovan was the only one, the one that caused too much pain.

Serpentina had no idea what to do now, she had never been so free before, she was always trapped inside of her sisters body, now she controlled it too. Suddenly she realized she had a lot of decisions to make. Would she continue with her sisters quest? Finding true love?

How could she do this? She did not believe in love, love caused her too much pain, when you let someone into your heart, when you give them all of you, you give them power. You give them the power to destroy you. That is what happened to her sister, she gave Donovan the power of her heart, and it destroyed her.

How could she complete this quest when she didn't believe in it? What was worse, everyday, for the rest of Serpentinas life, she would have to gaze at her sisters beautiful face in the mirror, and be reminded of the love she had lost, the love she couldn't save.

As Serpentina put on a fresh dress she heard a scream coming from downstairs….  

The dark side begins....

Part Sixteen

A month later, Sir Donovan still had not returned. Everyday Princess Desmerelda would sit by the window and stare outside in hope to see him coming back to her. Her mind started to play tricks on her, she started having the most disturbing of thoughts.  It was not enough that Princess Desmerelda had to deal with an actual ache in her chest, a physical pain that wouldn't leave her, as if a part of her was lost, lost to Sir Donovan. She sat by the window, feeling the tears of blood stream down her heart as she clutched her chest and moaned.

Where was he? Why did he just leave without at least a goodbye? What if he got caught by Charmings men? What if he decides to never return? What if he dies before she has a chance to tell him what was in her hearrt. Was this love? Was this loves pain? She though back to the poem,

“And for those unfortunate souls

Who are not meant to be

With the ones their souls are tied to

Is a pain, a crushing pain

That will start, like your heart

Expanded in your chest and erupted

And it will settle into dull thud

Resting with you, for eternity”

Was it true? Was this pain going to remain forever if Sir Donovan never returns? The Princess let her overwhelming thoughts consume her, she sat and instead of thinking about Sir Donovans return, and firmly believing that he would come back to her, she focused on her pain and convinced herself that he would never return. That she would never find a way to save her family, that her responsibilities were too difficult for her to carry out. The Princess convinced herself that the witch was wrong to assign her the task of saving her family, the witch did not know her, she was a Princess not a warrior, she could not partake in all this hurt and pain, she just wanted love and comfort.

She felt like she could wait no longer, she could not live with this pain for all eternity. Moving away from the window the Princess turned and had one last hopeful look out the window. The forest never looked so bleak as it did right then.  The grass didn't look as wilted, the trees didn't look as shadowy, the wind didn't feel as sharp and threatening, the world never looked so bleak. She closed her eyes, and felt the wind wisp around her pale white face, she was almost certain she heard a whisper, “He is not coming back.” And her heart cracked, the Princess was overwhelmed with this pain, she ran from the window.

Entering the Palace kitchen she found the nearest knife, and without a second thought, without a flicker of hope she stabbed the long, sharp blade into her chest, screaming in agony she fell to the ground and lay motionless in a pool of blood on the cold kitchen floor.

Part fifteen: Loves Pain

“Fear, builds up inside

Creates a different person

That one won’t recognize

That one becomes afraid of

Yesterday, was a journey

To whom one is today

Some steps are a pathway

While others lead to destruction

So look back, reflect

And hold on to the path

That leads to salvation

Let go of all else

Do not be afraid

Of what might be

What may never be

And of what is

Do not fight against fears

Give in to them

Challenge them

Conquer them

Let go”

The Princess read the words and the phrase, “simple but not easy,” came to her mind. Somewhere inside of her she had to find strength, a strength that she had no idea if she even possessed. But she knew that she needed it.

It was time to stop feeling sorry for herself, it was time to pick herself up and start a journey she had been procrastinating for a long time. A journey that would change the life she grew so accustomed to, but in the end she would be freeing her family, the change she sought after was for the better, so maybe it was time to stop being afraid.

Princess Desmorelda went in search of Sir Donovan to tell him she was now ready, she was now ready to seriously allow love into her heart and free her family.

“Sir Donovan!!” The Princess called out as she walked through the castle, “Sir Donovan!!”

“Princess,” a humble servant said emerging from the dining room, “Sir Donovan left.”

 The Princess gasped in complete shock,

“Where did he go?” She inquired.

“He said he had  to go in search of something, for you Princess…” replied the servant.

The Princesses eyes grew wide in shock as she moved into the dining room and sank down into a chair, she felt as if all of the energy in her body had drained out of her.  Was he really gone in search of the old witch?  What scared the Princess more than anything was that she had no idea of knowing if he was okay, if he would return to her, if Prince Charmings’ men would find him while he was out there…..

The Princess clutched her chest and moaned in pain as she felt a part of her break inside, and that is when she realized that she unknowingly gave a piece of her heart to Sir Donovan, she just hoped and prayed that he would return to her, with the piece of her heart he held kept intact.

Until then, the Princess had to live with this pain… 

Part Fourteen: Internal conflict

Part fourteen

For a few moments the Princess and Donovan just looked at each other in silence. Something great had bonded them over this last few days, but the Princess did not feel easy about it, she never felt that she needed  to be ‘saved’ from her situation.  

“You should go Donovan,” the Princess said softly her eyes falling to her lap where she fidgeted with her dress and avoided looking at him.

“What is it that you are so afraid of Princess?” Donovan asked.

“I’m NOT afraid of anything!” the Princess said defiantly, “I don’t need you to try and fix me Donovan, I don’t need to be saved, I can do this on my own.”

“I never said that you couldn’t Princess,” Donovan replied softly, “You defiantly can, but what’s the harm of taking a helping hand every once in a while.”

“People always let you down, I just can’t take that risk.”

“This is where you err Princess, if I dare say so. And yes, you are right, only you can save yourself. Because as much as I am here for you, as much as I want to help you, in the end it is only you who can open up your heart to new possibilities. It is only you who can take those risks as you say, and it’s only you that can allow true love into your heart. I cannot do those things for you. Only you can find the strength that lies inside of you,” Donovan got up to leave, leaving the Princess speechless.

Princess Desmorelda walked towards her great big mirror and pulled it out, she stared at her reflection for a while, who was this woman staring back at her, when had she become so bitter and resilient, with all that had passed in her life she always tried to maintain a positive spirit but suddenly, suddenly she felt like everything scared her. The possibility of letting all this change into her life, scared her so much. What had happened was Princess Desmorelda became comfortable, she became relaxed, until Donovan came and turned her world upside down, digging up the past, asking her questions she never dared to look at and making her realise things about herself she never saw before. And it was all rather scary.

“PPPrrrrriiinncceeesss,” Serpentina hissed from the mirror, “Whhaat do yoouuu thiiinnkk yyoou doing?”

“Don’t you start with me,” the Princess threw back tiredly, “Why can’t everyone leave me be.”

“Beecause you have a resssponsibilty, to me, to our parrrents, to yourrrselff, and oonly you caaan change thiisss.”

“That is easier said than done, dear sister,” replied the Princess.

“Nobody ever sssaid that the right thing and the easy thing werrre the sssame thing.” 

The Princess turned away from the mirror and went down to the library. 

She looked at her bookshelf, searching for something to guide her, a 

source of inspiration, the gold book caught her eye once again. She pulled 

it off the shelf and started skimming through it, reading over sonnets and poems until something caught her eye… 

Part Thirteen: Agony

“Princess!” Sir Donovan called out once again, “I found something you need to look at.”

He waited in silence, and after an awkward pause the door edged open,

“What is it?” asked the Princess meekly. Sir Donovan trust the crinkled up page in front of her,

“What is this?” he asked.

The Princess stared at the page, before taking it from his hand, she walked back into the bedroom and sat down on her enormous four poster bed.

“You really not going to let up on this are you?” She asked in exasperation.

“I see no reason why I should,” Replied Donovan.

The Princess stared at him in confusion, she saw many reasons as to why Donovan should run screaming to the hills or sit quietly until it was safe for him to leave, why would anyone want to be involved with a Princess so burdened with such complexities, this had ALWAYS been here burden to carry and she had always done it alone. But it was now clear that Donovan was not going to give up, so with half a heart she explained to him that this was in fact the address of the witch, but many years have passed and she no longer lives there.

“This really is a dead end, Donavan,” The Princess said, “I have extended every avenue of this curse, it just does not make any sense.”

“There must be something that you have missed Princess,” Said Sir Donovan.

“If you find it then you know where to find me,” Princess Desmorelda said indicating for him leave.

But instead of leaving Sir Donovan sat down at the foot of her bed, he looked up at the Princess, searching for a sign, all he saw were the walls of defense the Princess had built around her, he was determined to get pass that. No one should need to carry their burdens alone, everyone needs a hand to hold along the way. And even though Sir Donovan could not literally hold her hand, he could be by her side, till the end of this and more so if she needed him to be.

This is the thing in the world of fairy tales, one thinks it takes a special kiss to determine love, or a touch, or some sort of physical connection. They are not aware of the connection of the souls that once bonded creates a love that no outside force can break,

Love is the binding of two souls

Two halves, coming together as one

A force to be reckoned with

To grate the ebb and flow of life, together

And when these souls are forming a lasting connection, perhaps they are so unaware of it, until their love is challenged,

And beware of loves challenges

That will be presented to you

Your love will be tested, in the most gruesome manner

But the same love will guide you in the end

Then only do they truly realise what love is and how it crept into their hearts, and then will their hearts truly commit….

PArt twelve: A clue...

Princess Desmoralda locked herself away in her bedroom, afraid to step out. She began to realise that Sir Donovan was becoming too attached to her and it scared her. So use to being alone she was not use to having someone so involved in her life, someone who seemed to care so deeply for her and her burdens. But in her heart she knew eventually the burdens will get too much for him and then just like every other good thing she allowed into her life, he would abandon her.

“Princess.” Sir Donovan called out knocking softly on the Princesses door, “You need to come out at some point.”

“Go away Donovan.” The Princess called back, “This is not your problem to fix.”

“I know it’s not,” he replied, “But I would very much like to help you, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You will eventually leave,” she said, “Just like everyone else.”

“Princess, listen to me,” Donovan said firmly, “I am NOT going anywhere, I am here for you, please let me in.”

Sir Donovan listened to the silence on the other side of the door and sighed as he turned to walk away. He knew he had to give the Princess time to realise he really wasn’t going anywhere. Donovan headed for the big library, where he retrieved the gold book and looked at the poem describing what was true love. It was rather confusing, in every other love story Sir Donovan had yet to know it was true loves first kiss that released the Princess from any spells cast upon her, but in this case the Princess couldn’t be touched until she found true love.

“Love is a commitment of the heart

It is the story your heart tells you

When no one else is listening

The whispers you hear at night”

What was this commitment, what was the ultimate commitment of true love? Sir Donovan skimmed through the rest of the book, his mind in deep thought. As he put the book away he went to sit down at the Princesses big oak desk. As he sat down he noticed a scrap piece of paper wedged in between a stack of books. On it was an address and the name Beatrice scribbled, just barely legible. Could this be the address of the witch that cast the spell on Princess Desmoralda’s family?

Sir Donovan went back up to the Princesses room to get some answers, if she had this all along, why didn’t she go in search of the witch? Was there even more secrets? 

Part eleven: And so it starts....

“How do you open your heart to love?” Asked Sir Donovan, “You need to stop being afraid, let go of your fears, you are afraid of getting hurt Princess, but trust me, you are stronger then you believe.”  

“It’s so easy to a say these words, but to actually allow someone into my heart and mind would mean me breaking down the walls I created around me, it would mean giving someone the power to break me.”

“You are looking at this all wrong Princess; how you allow someone to effect you is based solely on your own reaction to the situations.  You are not allowing someone to break you, but you are allowing someone to look into your soul and love you, for who you are and not for  simply for what you look like.”

The Princess sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking about this, all the times she ever opened her heart to love, pain followed not far behind, her parents, her sister, how now would any other form of love be any different. Was she willing to risk everything to gain it all, somehow she knew the prize would be worth the risk, but was her heart strong enough to open up. It was strange however, that the Princess did not realize she was already opening up her heart to Sir Donovan, simply by trusting him with her secrets. For it is the secrets of the hearts that draw people to each other, opening up your secrets means opening up a part of your heart. And it’s giving a very special part of yourself to someone else, an act of trust, which in a way is an act of love.

Sir Donovan stood above the Princess, feeling like her sole protector, he too did not realize what was actually happening between them, but in a way he did now feel more connected to the Princess. They both now shared a part of each other they haven’t shared with anyone else. Sir Donovan felt her pain, he heard how troubled her heart was, it is a strange thing how two people can read each other’s feelings without saying a word, this was the language of the heart, the whispers of the heart, only few people can find that someone who can hear the whispers of their heart.  But the two where yet to be aware of what was happening, each focusing on the problem, while the solution was hovering right under their nose.

“What do I do know?” asked the Princess in a whisper.

“Just trust me,” said Sir Donovan, “I will ALWAYS be here to protect you Princess.”

The Princess looked into Donovan’s and the way those green eyes starred straight into her soul, she had to look away, her skin turned crimson. And suddenly she grew afraid,

“You have to leave,” She said briskly as she got up and ran out the door…